A New Beginning
by Adrian's little Dhampir girl
Summary: Rose succeeded in killing Dimitri in Blood Promise. Now she has come back to St. Vladimirs and has decided to give Adrian a chance. Will she find happiness with Adrian or will her grief over losing Dimitri get the better of her and finally push her over the edge? Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**This chapter is directly out of Blood Promise. I felt my story needed to have this before I get into it. No copyright intended. Blood Promise is the sole property of Richelle Mead.**

"Roza!"

The voice carried distantly on the wind, and I stiffened. No. It couldn't be.

Dimitri. He'd survived.

"Roza, I know you're out there," he called. "I can smell you."

I had a feeling he was bluffing. He wasn't close enough for me to feel sick, and with the cloying perfume of the flowers, I doubted he could scent me yet-even if I was sweating a lot. He was trying to bait me into giving up my location.

With new resolve, I headed down the next twist in the bushes, praying for the exit. _Okay, God_, I thought._ Get me out of this and I'll stop my half-assed churchgoing ways. You got me past a pack of Strigoi tonight. I mean, trapping that one between the doors really shouldn't have worked, so clearly you're on board. Let me get out of here, and I'll...I don't know. Donate Adrian's money to the poor. Get baptized. Join a convent. Well, no. Not that last one._

Dimitri continues his taunting. "I won't kill you, not if you give yourself up. I owe you. You took out Galina for me, and now I'm in charge. Replacing her happened a little ahead of schedule, but that's not a problem. Of course, there aren't many people to control now that Nathan and the others are dead. But that can be fixed."

Unbelievable. He truly had survived those odds. I'd said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass. There was no way he could have defeated those three… and yet, well… I'd seen him take on crazy odds before. And clearly his being here was proof of his capabilities.

The path ahead of me split, and I randomly chose the right hand path. It spread off into the darkness, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Score. Despite his breezy commentary, I knew he was also moving through the maze, getting closer and closer. And unlike me, he knew the paths and how to get out of it.

"I'm not upset about you attacking me, either. I would have done it in your place. It's just one more reason why we should be together."

My next turn took me into a dead end filled with climbing moonflowers. I kept my swearing to myself and backtracked.

"You're still dangerous, though. If I find you, I'm probably going to have to kill you. I don't want to, but I'm starting to think there's no way we can both live in this world. Come to me by choice, and I'll awaken you. We'll control Galina's empire together."

I almost laughed. I couldn't have found him if I wanted to in this mess. If I'd had that kind of ability, I'd My stomach swirled a little. Oh no. He was getting closer. Did he know it yet? I didn't fully understand how the amount of nausea correlated to distance, but it didn't matter. He was too close, period. How close did he need to be to truly smell me? To hear me walking on the grass? Each second brought him closer to success. Once he had my trail, I was screwed. My heart started racing even more-if that was even possible at this point-and the adrenaline pumping through me numbed my ankle, even though it still slowed me down.

Another dead end spun me around, and I tried to calm myself, knowing panic would make me sloppy. All the while, that nausea grew in increments.

"Even if you get out, where will you go?" he called. "We're in the middle of nowhere." His words were poison, seeping into my skin. If I focused on them, my fear would win, and I'd give up. I'd curl into a ball and let him come for me, and I had no reason to believe he'd let me live. My life could be over in the next few minutes.

A turn to my left led to another wall of glossy green leaves. I sidestepped it quickly and headed in the opposite direction and saw-fields.

Long, vast stretches of grass spread out ahead of me, giving way to trees scattered off in the distance. Against all odds, I'd made it out.

Unfortunately, the nausea was strong now. This close, he had to know where I was. I peered around, realizing the truth of his words. We really were in the middle of nowhere. Where could I go? I had no idea where we were.

There. To my left, I saw the faint purple glow on the horizon that I'd noticed the other night. I hadn't realized what it was then, but now I knew.

Those were city lights, most likely Novosibirsk, if that was where Galina's gang did most of their deeds. Even if it wasn't Novosibirsk, it was civilization. There would be people there. Safety. I could get help.

I took off at as fast a run as I could manage, feet pounding hard against the ground. Even the adrenaline couldn't block that much impact out, and pain crackled up through my leg with each step. The ankle held, though. I didn't fall or go to a true limp. My breath was hard and ragged, the rest of my muscles still weak from all I'd been through. Even with a goal, I knew that the city was miles away.

And all the while, the nausea grew and grew. Dimitri was close. He had to be out of the maze now, but I couldn't risk looking back. I just kept running toward that purple glow on the horizon, even though it meant I was about to enter a cluster of trees. Maybe, maybe it would provide cover.

You're a fool, some part of me whispered. There's nowhere you can hide from him.

I reached the thin line of trees and slowed just a little, gasping for breath and pressing myself up against a sturdy trunk. I finally dared a look behind me but saw nothing. The house glowed in the distance, surrounded by the darkness of the hedge maze. My sick stomach hadn't grown worse, so it was possible I might have a lead on him. The maze had several exits; he hadn't known where I'd come out.

My moment of respite over, I kept moving, keeping the soft glow of the city lights in sight through the branches. It was only a matter of time before Dimitri found me. My ankle wasn't going to let me do much more of this. Outrunning him was slowly becoming a fantasy. Leaves left over from last fall crunched as I moved, but I couldn't afford to step around them. I doubted I had to worry anymore about Dimitri sniffing me out. The noise would give me away.

"Rose! I swear it's not too late."

Shoot. His voice was close. I looked around frantically. I couldn't see him, but if he was still calling for me, he likely couldn't see me yet either. The city haze was still my guiding star, but there were trees and darkness between me and it. Suddenly, an unexpected person came to mind. Tasha Ozera. She was Christian's aunt, a very formidable lady who was one of the forerunners of teaching Moroi to fight back against Strigoi.

"We can retreat and retreat and let ourselves get backed into corners forever," she'd said once. "Or we can go out and meet the enemy at the time and place we choose. Not them."

Okay, Tasha, I thought. Let's see if your advice gets me killed.

I looked around and located a tree with branches I could reach. Shoving my stake back into my pocket, I grabbed hold of the lowest branch and swung myself up. My ankle complained the whole way, but aside from that, there were enough branches for me to get good hand- and footholds. I kept going until I found a thick, heavy limb that I thought would support my weight. I moved out onto it, staying near the trunk and carefully testing the limb's sturdiness. It held. I took the stake out of my pocket and waited.

A minute or so later, I heard the faint stirring of leaves as Dimitri approached. He was much quieter than I had been. His tall, dark form came into view, a sinister shadow in the night. He moved very slowly, very carefully, eyes roving everywhere and the rest of his senses no doubt working as well.

"Roza…" He spoke softly. "I know you're here. You have no chance of running. No chance of hiding."

His gaze was fixed low. He thought I was hiding behind a tree or crouched down. A few more steps. That was all I needed from him. Against the stake, my hand began to sweat, but I couldn't wipe it off. I was frozen, holding so still that I didn't even dare breathe.

"Roza…"

The voice caressed my skin, cold and deadly. Still scrutinizing his surroundings, Dimitri took one step forward. Then another. And then another.

I think it occurred to him to look up the instant I jumped. My body slammed into his, knocking him to the ground back-first. He immediately tried to throw me off, just as I tried to drive the stake through his heart. Signs of fatigue and fighting were all over him. Defeating the other Strigoi had taken its toll, though I doubted I was in much better shape. We grappled, and once, I managed to rake the stake against his cheek. He snarled in pain but kept his chest well protected. Over it, I could see where I'd ripped his shirt the first time I'd staked him. The wound had already healed.

"You. Are. Amazing," he said, his words full of both pride and battle fury.

I had no energy for a response. My only goal was his heart. I fought to stay on him, and at last, my stake pierced his chest-but he was too fast.

He knocked my hand away before I could fully drive the stake through. In the process, he knocked me off of him. I flew several feet away, mercifully not hitting any trees. I scrambled to my feet, dazed, and saw him coming toward me. He was fast-but not as fast as he'd been in previous fights. We were going to kill ourselves in trying to kill each other.

I'd lost my advantage now, so I ran off into the trees, knowing he'd be right behind me. I was certain he could outrun me, but if I could accrue just a tiny lead, then maybe I could secure another good attack place and try to "Ahhh!"

My scream rang into the night, jarring against the quiet darkness. My foot had gone out from under me, and I was sliding rapidly down a steep hillside, unable to stop myself. There were few trees, but the rocks and my ungainly position made the fall painful, particularly since I was wearing that sweater dress. How I managed to keep holding the stake was beyond me. I hit the bottom roughly, managed to briefly stand, and then promptly stumbled and fell-into water.

I stared around. On cue, the moon peeked out from the clouds, casting enough light to show me a huge expanse of black, fast-moving water in front of me. I gaped at it, utterly confused, and then I turned in the direction of the city. This was the Ob, the river that ran through Novosibirsk.

The river headed right toward it. Glancing behind me, I saw Dimitri standing on top of the ridge. Unlike some of us, he'd apparently been watching where he was going. Either that, or my scream had tipped him off that something was amiss.

It was going to take him less than a minute to come running down after me, though. I looked to either side of me and then in front. Okay. Fast-moving water. Possibly deep. Very wide. It'd take the pressure off my ankle, but I wasn't thrilled about my chances of not drowning. In legends, vampires couldn't cross running water. Man, I wished. That was pure myth.

I did a double take to my left and just barely saw a dark shape over the water. A bridge? It was the best shot I had. I hesitated before going toward it; I needed Dimitri to start coming down here. I was not going to run off and let him pace me up above on the ridge. I needed the time his hill descent would buy me. There. He took one step onto the slope, and I tore off down the shore, not looking back. The bridge grew closer and closer to me, and as it did, I realized just how high it was. I'd misjudged it from where I'd landed. The slopes around the bridge reached farther up the more I ran downriver. I was going to have a hell of a climb.

No problem. I'd worry about that later-by which I meant in about thirty seconds, since that was probably how long it'd take Dimitri to catch up with me. As it was, I could hear his feet splashing through the shallow water on the bank, the sounds growing nearer and nearer. If I could just reach the bridge, if I could just get to high ground and to the other side. The nausea surged in me. A hand closed around the back of my jacket, jerking me backward. I fell against Dimitri and immediately began fighting him, trying to free myself. But God, I was so, so tired. Every piece of me hurt, and no matter how weary he was, I was worse.

"Stop it!" he yelled, gripping my arms. "Don't you get it? You can't win!"

"Then kill me!" I wriggled, but his hold on my upper arms was too strong, and even holding the stake, I couldn't do anything with it. "You said you would if I didn't surrender myself. Well, guess what? I didn't. I won't. So just get it over with."

That phantom moonlight lit up his face, eradicating the normal shadows and making his skin stark white against the night's backdrop. It was like all the colors in the world had been blanked out. His eyes merely looked dark, but in my mind's eye, they glowed like fire. His expression was cold and calculating.

Not my Dimitri.

"It'd take a lot for me to kill you, Rose," he said. "This isn't enough."

I wasn't convinced. Still holding onto me with that unbreakable grip, he leaned toward me. He was going to bite me. Those teeth would pierce my skin, and he'd turn me into a monster like him or drink until I was dead. Either way, I'd be too drugged and too stupid to know it. The person who was Rose Hathaway would leave this world without even realizing it.

Pure panic shot through me-even as that part of me that was still in withdrawal cried out for more of those glorious endorphins. No, no. I couldn't allow that. Every nerve I had was set on fire, ramping up for defense, attack, anything… anything to stop this. I would not be turned. I could not be turned. I wanted so badly to do something to save myself. My whole being was consumed with that urge. I could feel it ready to burst out, ready to. My hands could touch each other but not Dimitri. With a bit of maneuvering, I used the fingers of my left hand to pry off Oksana's ring. It slipped off and into the mud, just as Dimitri's fangs touched my skin.

It was like a nuclear explosion going off. The ghosts and spirits I'd summoned on the road to Baia burst between us. They were all around, translucent and luminescent in shades of pale green, blue, yellow, and silver. I'd let loose all of my defenses, let myself succumb to my emotions in a way I hadn't been able to when Dimitri first caught me. The ring's healing power had barely kept me in check just now, but it was gone. I had no barriers on my power.

Dimitri sprang back, wide-eyed. Like the Strigoi on the road, he waved his hands around, swatting the spirits as one would mosquitoes. His hands passed right through them, ineffectual. Their attack was more or less ineffectual too. They couldn't physically hurt him, but they could affect the mind, and they were damned distracting. What had Mark said? The dead hate the undead. And from the way these ghosts swarmed Dimitri, it was clear that they did.

I stepped back, scanning the ground below me. There. The ring's silver gleamed up at me from a puddle. I reached down and grabbed it, then ran off and left Dimitri to his fate. He wasn't exactly screaming, but he was making some horrible noises. That tore at me, but I kept going, running toward the bridge. I reached it a minute or so later. It was as high as I'd feared, but it was sturdy and well built, if narrow. It was the kind of country bridge that only one car at a time could cross.

"I've come this far," I muttered, staring up at the bank. It was not only higher than the one I'd fallen down, it was also steeper. I pocketed the ring and stake and then reached out, digging my hands into the ground. I was going to have to half-crawl, half-climb this one. My ankle got a slight reprieve; this was all upper-body strength now. As I climbed, however, I began to notice something. Faint flashes in my periphery. An impression of faces and skulls. And a throbbing pain in the back of my head.

Oh no. This had happened before too. In this panicked state, I couldn't maintain the defenses I usually did to keep the dead away from myself.

They were now approaching me, more curious than belligerent. But as their numbers grew, it all became as disorienting as what Dimitri was now experiencing.

They couldn't hurt me, but they were freaking me out, and the telltale headache that came with them was starting to make me dizzy. Glancing back toward him, I saw something amazing. Dimitri was still coming. He really was a god, a god who brought death closer with each footstep. The ghosts still swarmed him like a cloud, yet he was managing progress, one agonizing step at a time. Turning back, I continued my climb, ignoring my own glowing companions as best I could.

At long last, I reached the top of the bank and stumbled onto the bridge. I could barely stand, my muscles were so weak. I made it a few more steps and then collapsed to my hands and knees. More and more spirits were spinning around, and my head was on the verge of exploding. Dimitri still made his slow progress but was a ways from the bank yet. I tried to stand again, using the bridge's rails for support, and failed. The rough grating on the bridge scraped my bare legs.

"Damn."

I knew what I had to do to save myself, though it could very well end up killing me, too. With trembling hands, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring. I shook so badly that I felt certain I'd drop it. Somehow, I held on and managed to slide it onto my finger. A small surge of warmth radiated from it into me, and I felt a tiny bit of control settle into my body. Unfortunately, the ghosts were still there.

The traces of that fear, of dying or turning Strigoi, were still in me, but it had lessened now that I was out of immediate danger. Feeling less unstable, I sought for the barriers and control I usually kept up, desperate to slam them into place and drive my visitors away.

"Go, go, go," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. The effort was like pushing on a mountain, an impossible obstacle that no one could have the strength for. This was what Mark had warned about, why I shouldn't do this. The dead were a powerful asset, but once called, they were difficult to get rid of. What had he said? Those who danced on the edge of darkness and insanity shouldn't risk this.

"Go!" I shouted, throwing my last bit of strength into the effort.

One by one, the phantoms around me vanished. I felt my world settle back into its rightful order. Only, when I looked down, I saw that the ghosts had left Dimitri too-as I'd suspected. And just like that, he was on the move again.

"Damn." My word of the night.

I managed to get on my feet this time as he sprinted up the slope. Again, he was slower than usual-but still more than fast enough. I began backing up, never taking my eyes off of him. Getting rid of the ghosts had given me more strength, but not what I needed to get away. Dimitri had won.

"Another shadow-kissed effect?" he asked, stepping onto the bridge.

"Yeah." I swallowed. "Turns out ghosts don't much like Strigoi."

"You didn't seem to like them much either."

I took another slow step backward. Where could I go? As soon as I turned around to run, he'd be on me.

"So, did I go far enough for you to not want to turn me?" I asked as cheerfully as I could manage.

He gave me a wry, twisted smile. "No. Your shadow-kissed abilities have their uses… Too bad they'll go away when you're awakened." So. That was still his plan. In spite of how much I'd infuriated him, he still wanted to keep me around for eternity.

"You're not going to awaken me," I said.

"Rose, there's no way you can-"

"No."

I climbed up onto the railing of the bridge, swinging one leg over. I knew what had to happen now. He froze.

"What are you doing?"

"I told you. I'll die before I become Strigoi. I won't be like you or the others. I don't want that. You didn't want that, once upon a time." My face felt cold as a night breeze blew over it, the result of stealthy tears on my cheeks.

I swung my other leg over and peered down at the swiftly moving water. We were a lot more than two stories up. I'd hit the water hard, and even if I survived that fall, I didn't have the strength to out swim the current and get to shore. As I stared down, contemplating my death, I thought back to when Dimitri and I sat in the backseat of an SUV once, discussing this very topic.

It was the first time we'd sat near each other, and every place our bodies touched had been warm and wonderful. He'd smelled good-that scent, that scent of being alive was gone now, I realized-and he'd been more relaxed than usual, ready to smile. We'd talked about what it meant to be alive and in full control of your soul-and what it meant to become one of the undead, to lose the love and light of life and all those you'd known.

We'd looked at each other and agreed death was better than that fate.

Looking at Dimitri now, I had to agree.

"Rose, don't." I heard true panic in his voice. If he lost me over the edge, I was gone. No Strigoi. No awakening. For me to be turned, he needed to kill me by drinking my blood and then feed blood back to me. If I jumped, the water would kill me, not bloodletting. I would be long dead before he found me in the river.

"Please," he begged. There was a plaintive note to his voice, one that startled me. It twisted my heart. It reminded me too much of the living Dimitri, the one who wasn't a monster. The one who'd cared for me and loved me, who'd believed in me and made love to me. This Dimitri, the one who was none of those things, took two careful steps forward, then stopped again. "We need to be together."

"Why?" I asked softly. The word was carried away on the wind, but he heard.

"Because I want you."

I gave him a sad smile, wondering if we'd meet again in the land of the dead. "Wrong answer," I told him.

I let go.

And he was right there, sprinting out to me with that insane Strigoi speed as I started to fall. He reached out and caught one of my arms, dragging me back onto the railing. Well, half-dragging. Only part of me made it over; the rest still hung out over the river.

"Stop fighting me!" he said, trying to pull on the arm he held.

He was in a precarious position himself, straddling the rail as he tried to lean over far enough to get me and actually hold onto me.

"Let go of me!" I yelled back.

But he was too strong and managed to haul most of me over the rail, enough so that I wasn't in total danger of falling again.

See, here's the thing. In that moment before I let go, I really had been contemplating my death. I'd come to terms with it and accepted it. I also, however, had known Dimitri might do something exactly like this. He was just that fast and that good. That was why I was holding my stake in the hand that was dangling free.

I looked him in the eye. "I will always love you."

Then I plunged the stake into his chest.

It wasn't as precise a blow as I would have liked, not with the skilled way he was dodging. I struggled to get the stake in deep enough to his heart, unsure if I could do it from this angle. Then, his struggles stopped. His eyes stared at me, stunned, and his lips parted, almost into a smile, albeit a grisly and pained one.

"That's what I was supposed to say…" he gasped out.

Those were his last words.

His failed attempt to dodge the stake had made him lose his balance on the edge. The stake's magic made the rest easy, stunning him and his reflexes.

Dimitri fell.

He nearly took me with him, and I just barely managed to break free of him and cling to the railing. He dropped down into the darkness-down, down into the blackness of the Ob. A moment later he disappeared from sight.

I stared down after him, wondering if I would see him in the water if I squinted hard enough. But I didn't. The river was too dark and too far away.

Clouds moved back over the moon, and darkness fell over everything again. For a moment, staring down and realizing what I'd just done, I wanted to throw myself in after him, because surely there was no way I could go on living now.

You have to. My inner voice was much calmer and more confident than it should have been. The old Dimitri would want you to live. If you really loved him, then you have to go on.

With a shaking breath, I climbed over the rail and stood back on the bridge, surprisingly grateful for its security. I didn't know how I would go on living, but I knew that I wanted to. I wasn't going to feel fully safe until I was on solid ground, and with my body falling apart, I began to cross the bridge one step at a time. When I was on the other side, I had a choice. Follow the river or the road? They veered off from each other slightly, but both headed roughly in the direction of the city's lights. I opted for the road. I didn't want to be anywhere near the river. I would not think about what had just happened. I couldn't think about it. My brain refused. Worry about staying alive first. Then worry about how you're going to live.


	2. Coming Home

**And here goes my story :)**

I was on my way back to St. Vladimirs. I had killed the man I love. Now I needed to move on. I needed to find a way to keep living.

"Rose!"

The voice from behind startled me and I spun around and looked into his eyes. His deep emerald green eyes. Adrian.

He looked so happy to see me, and not just in a dream but to really see me standing there in front of him. He had been so worried. He had tried to help me and I had pushed him away. But not anymore. I had told him before I left that when I came back, I would give him a chance. True, I had said that so that he would give me money, but now I felt I should at least give him a chance. He had chased me from the day we met on the porch of the ski lodge in Idaho. He loved me.

I ran up to him and hugged him as if letting go would cause me to slip away from this world. After a second of surprise and hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back. He could tell the trip had been hard on me and he didn't want to say anything that would upset me. I started crying as I pushed my face into his chest. "Rose...?" He was surprised by my emotional reaction. "Are you okay?"

I wiped my eyes and tried to look brave. "I'm fine." He looked truely concerned and I couldn't stand it. I couldn't let myself show weakness. I couldn't show fear. I jerked away from him and gave him my classic Rose Hathaway smirk. "What? Were you hoping to take advantage of the crying girl who has lost everything?" I could see he was taken aback by this.

"Rose... I want to help you. I want you to understand that life goes on and you have to move on with it. I understand that you are not ready to move on romantically, but I want you to at least try to be happy again. I love it when you're happy."

I smiled. Maybe I would be able to move on. Maybe my life wasn't really over because Dimitri was gone. I looked into his deep green eyes, "I'm ready."

He was surprised by my words. "Ready for what?"

"I'm ready to move on, and I want it to be with you."

**Please Review. I have finished through chapter 4 but now I am stuck so I would love any suggestions you might have.  
**


	3. Lissa

The minute I got back to St. Vladimirs, Lissa knew. She could feel it through the bond. She ran to me, so happy that I was back and that I was safe. She hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe.

"Rose! I'm so glad to see you. You have to tell me what happened while you were gone. Did you find him?"

"I'll tell you everything, but right now I just want to unpack and hang out." The last thing I wanted to do was talk about Dimitri.

***

"So are you and Adrian a thing now?" she asked me as we unpacked my bag.

"Not sure I would put it like that, I decided I would give him a chance."

"He really likes you."

"He likes a lot of girls."

I mean he REALLY likes you. You should've seen the way he was when you were gone. He was so depressed and always drunk. The only times he tried to stay sober were when he was trying to go to your dreams. He was heartbroken when you left."

I was surprised by this, but it also made me blush. I loved how he could be so sensitive, so caring. I quickly pushed it off my face so that Lissa wouldn't notice how it effected me. "Come on Lissa, I'm starving, let's go get something to eat."

**Please review. Preferably not as guest, just make an account, that way you can follow the story and I can respond to your review. If you follow this story it will send you an email whenever I post a new chapter. Love to know what you think. :)**


	4. Move on Rose

We headed out towards the cafeteria. It was almost lunch time, but first we needed to stop by the feeders. Lissa needed blood, then we would go get food.

We got to the feeders and Lissa signed in. When Lissa's name was called, we walked over and saw Alice. Her face lit up when she saw me. "Rose, it's been a long time."

I smiled, "Hi Alice, how are you today?"

"I'm good, worried about you though."

"I'm fine."

"Are you? There is a sadness in your eyes."

My smile disappeared. "What does that mean?"

"You killed your love. That will never leave you. No matter what you do, no matter who you love, your greif will follow you. You can never escape it."

Lissa leaned over and bit into Alice's throat causing her to moan out in pleasure and lose her train of thought. I just stood there speechless. What was I going to do? Somewhere inside, I knew she was right. I would never be able to truely move on. Not after all I'd been through with him.

"Rose?" Lissa's words snapped me out of my thoughts. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, you ready to go?"

***

We were in line for lunch. I loved the smell of the chicken tacos. I was so hungry.

"Well, look who's back. Where's the baby Rose?" I turned around to see Jesse Zeklos and Ralf Sarcozy standing behind me with a stupid look on their faces."

"Fuck off jerk. I'm not in the mood."

"And what if I don't? Are you going to try to kill me again?"

'Back off!" I said louder.

"Psycotic bitch." they turned around an walked away. I felt the urge to run after him. To beat him into unconciousness, but then I heard Lissa's voice inside my head. Just let it go Rose. They're not worth it.

I looked at her and took a deep breath. She was right. We finally got to the front of the line and got our food. I loaded my tray with tacos, pizza, and anything else I saw. Lissa just got a yogurt and a V8. She wasn't too hungry since she had just fed.

We quickly found a table and took a seat and started eating.

"Rose, forget what she said. Nothing is going to happen. Dimitri is gone. You have Adrian now. He's a great guy. Alice is a feeder. She lives her days high off the vampire endorphins. She's not exactly an expert in this sort of thing. There's nothing to worry about."

"She's right. I loved him and I had to kill him. How am I supposed to get past that?"

"By simply trying. You're not gonna be able to move on if you keep thinking about it. Spend some time alone with Adrian, you'll feel better."

As if on que my phone beeped with a text message. It was Adrian. I read the message;

_Meet me in the woods on the edge of campus in 20 minutes._


	5. Meeting in the Woods

I quickly finished my food and went to my room to get ready. I got to the edge of campus and saw him leaning against a tree, his hair carefully made up to look messy as always. He smiled when he saw me and stood up straight. "Hey little dhampir." he pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. "I've missed you so much."

I smiled "I missed you too."

He kissed me, reached inside his pocket, and pulled out a small box. "For you, my lady." He handed me the box which turned out to be perfume. It was Amor Amor.

I smiled at this. "Thank you." I pulled him closer and held him tight. "Is that all you wanted to see me for?"

"I always want to see you Rose," he smiled. "This is really just an excuse."

"Nice." I chuckle. "So I'm here, now what?"

"We could make out." he smiles as he pulls me closer.

I pull away and laugh, "I got a better idea." I wink at him and start pulling him away. I pull him into a cabin without thinking and start kissing him as I pull off his shirt. He instantly responded by slipping his hands up inside the back of my shirt and towards the clasp of my bra. He undoes the clasp and lets it drop to the floor. He then reaches for my waist band and pulls down my pants. I pull him towards the cot in the corner and push him to lay down. I climb on top of him and pull off his pants as I kiss him hungrily, my eyes filled with pure lust. I straddle him as I pull off my shirt oh so slowly. He comes up suddenly, grabs me, and flips us over so that he is on top. I giggle as he stares down at me with a hungry look in his eyes.

"Rose, you are so beautiful. I want you so much, but we'll only do this if you want to. There is no pressure."

"Take me now Adrian, I want you to make me yours." I purr into his ear as he reaches down for my panties. He slides them off of me and brings his face down to lick my hole. I love it so much. I love him so much. I pull down his pants at look at the large tent in his boxers. He smiles at the look on my face and pushes the tent against my hole. I gasp in anticipation. I want him so badly. He pulls down his boxers and I feel his large dick run against my hole. I moan as I feel him start to move in, but at the very last second I pull away. All the memories suddenly come flooding back. I can't do this.

"I'm sorry Adrian." I choke out when I see the surprised look on his face. I throw on my shirt and pants, grab the rest of my clothes, and run out of the cabin with tears in my eyes.

**I hope you liked this. Please review. If you really love Vampire Academy than you simply must join the Facebook group Love Fades Mine Has -A VA Lovers Group The link is on my profile.**


	6. It Hurts to Much

I was crying alone in my room when I heard pounding on my door. I saw through the bond that it was Lissa and ignored it knowing she would let herself in with her key. Sure enough, I heard a click and the door opened. "Rose...what happened?"

"I can't do this," I cried out. "It's just too much, he's gone and so is my reason to go on."

"Rose, when I said you needed to move on, I didn't mean all at once like that. Take it slowly, hang out with him for a while."

"Lissa, you don't understand. He didn't just leave, he's dead. I killed him. My life is over."

"No, you're just at a new point. I know it hurts now but if you just take it little by little, it will get better."

There was another knock on the door. "Rose?"

"Come in Adrian." I called out.

He opened the door slowly and looked inside for a second before coming in. "Are you okay Rose?"

I wiped the tears from my eyes and took a deep breath. "No, I'm really not. I wanted to be with you Adrian, I still do. It just hurts too much."

"I understand Rose. I just wish you would have mentioned that earlier."

"I'm sorry." the tears were coming back. "Do you want to try again? Maybe take it a little slower this time?"

I could see in his eyes that he still loved me. He was worried and wanted me to be happy. "No. You need time to yourself. I don't want to make this harder for you, I just want you to be happy."

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	7. Over the Edge

**Adrian's POV**

I sat at the bar and downed another shot. It hurt that Rose had led me on, then changed her mind. It hurt to tell her no but I knew this would be best. She needed time to get over guardian Belikov.

**Rose's POV**

I lay in the bed crying alone in my room. Why had I pulled away? Why did I reject Adrian? I knew the answer but I didn't want to think about it. The truth was it was the cabin. I had given up my virginity in the cabin with Dimitri. Now he was gone. I had killed him. I realized Alice was right. This would never leave me. I would never be happy again. Not with Dimitri. Not with Adrian. Not with anyone. There was only one thing I could do to stop the pain. I killed my love. I have to kill myself.

**Sorry this is so short. It just seemed right to end here. I will try to finish the next chapter quickly and UD. Reviews might help. ;)**

**Please review. :)  
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	8. Rose! No!

**Rose's POV**

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, tears still stained my face. I checked the medicine cabinet but I was out of Tylenol. I went back out and looked around my room. I finally found a rope in my closet, pulled it out, and nailed it to the ceiling. I tied the end into a loop and put it around my neck. I looked down for a while contemplating this. I took a deep breath and kicked the chair out from under me.

**Lissa's POV**

Something wasn't right. I knew Rose was upset but there was something else. Something darker. I found Adrian nearly wasted in the bar and ran over to him.

"Adrian. We have to go talk to Rose now. Something is wrong. Something more than what happened with you and her in the cabin.

"I thought the bond was only one way." he said without looking at me.

"It is...I just have a feeling. I know something is wrong and she needs help."

He took a deep breath and stood up. "Okay, let's go."

**Adrian's POV**

We walked to Rose's room and Lissa opened the door with her key. We froze when we saw Rose standing on the chair with the rope around her neck. She took a deep breath and kicked the chair out from under her. I ran over and caught her as she fell. She tried to kick out of my grip but I held on. I wasn't going to let her do this. This was a big mistake. While I held onto her, Lissa got up onto the chair and pulled the rope off of her neck. I put her down and looked at her with shock all over my face. "Rose! What were you doing?!"

"My life is over!" she cried out. "Alice was right. He's gone. I killed him. That will never leave me. There is no reason to keep trying. I just want the hurt to go away."

Lissa was stunned and I was upset. "Rose. This won't help anything. Do you have any idea what would happen if you had done this? Lissa would be alone. I would be alone. There are so many people who care about you and would be devastated if you were gone."

"I don't know what to do." she broke down sobbing. "I just want the pain to go away."


	9. Therapy

**Rose's POV**

I sit in the chair ignoring everyone and everything around me. I know they are worried about me but I really don't want to do this. I just want to go lay down in my bed by myself.

"I know you don't want to do this," Lissa says sitting down next to me. "but we really think it will help. We just want you to feel better."

"I don't need help." I cry out frustrated causing a few people to look at me surprised by my outburst. "I can handle it myself. I'm fine."

"You are not fine Rose." Adrian spoke up from the other side of me. "You tried to kill yourself. You need to talk to someone and it's clear that we are not enough."

"I don't need therapy! All it is, is someone trying to get inside my head and tell me everything that is wrong with me, and then they charge for it. If I wanted someone to criticize my life, I would just talk to my mom, and I'm not going to do that either."

Lissa got up and went to talk to the lady at the counter. Adrian leaned over and brushed the hair that was hanging in front of my face behind my ear and wiped away my tears. "I wish you could understand that we are only trying to help you Rose. I can't stand seeing you so hurt."

"Nothing is going to help." I mumble under my breath. "You don't understand and you won't ever understand. Why can't you just let me rot in my room?"

"I know you are hurting. I don't need to see your aura to see that. Even if we could never work out, I love you and I'm not going to let you suffer."

* * *

Soon Lissa came back and the lady called me in. I got up and reluctantly walked inside closing the door behind me.

**Please review. I love reading every review and I do respond to some so please let me know what you think and if there is anything you think I should put. I would also appreciate more readers and reviews on some of my other stories including On the Run and Story of My Life.**

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	10. Abe, Janine, and Adrian

**Rose's POV**

I could hear the banging against my door but I refused to answer. I just stayed in my bed knowing Adrian would just have Lissa use her key at some point. Sure enough, 5 minutes later, I heard a click and the door opened.

"Go away! Just leave me alone!" I yelled from under my blanket.

"Rose, can we please talk to you?" I was surprised when the voice was not that of Adrian or Lissa's, but actually that of my mother's. I sat up slowly and pulled the blanket off my head, only to be even more surprised to see who was there with my mother. Abe.

I had just recently learned that Abe was my father and was surprised to see him here in my room after 18 years of being M.I.A..

"What do you want?" I moaned as I flopped back down against the bed covering my head with my pillow.

The blanket was pulled off, and I saw my mother sitting above me. "Rose, Lissa told me you tried to kill yourself. Now I don't know what..."

_Oh my gosh! _I can't believe she told her. "Exactly!" I shouted sitting up real fast and cutting her off. "You don't know. You don't know what happened because you don't know me. You were gone for the first 17 years of my life. You have no idea how I feel about anything! I loved Dimitri! I had to follow him to Russia and kill him! Now he is gone and I have nothing left. I wish I could have gone with him." I fall back down on the bed crying as she is frozen with shock. The first time she had ever not had something to say back. I am too upset to realize what I have just told her.

"You...what?! Guardian Belikov was 7 years older than you Rose. You didn't love him and he didn't love you. If anyone, he loved Tasha."

"NO!" I screamed. "See?! You don't understand at all! I loved him and he loved me! Why do you think I slept with him?! And don't say because I'm a tramp. I was a virgin. He was my first." Again she was speechless. I just covered my head with my blanket again and yelled, "Go away! Both of you! Just leave me alone!"

**Adrian's POV**

I knew Rose wasn't going to let me in but I had to talk to her. I decided she wouldn't be able to slam a door in my face if I were in her dream.

I sat down in my bed and began to focus. After a few trys, I finally got her. "Rose!"

She let out a cry of frustration, "Why can't anyone just leave me alone?!"

"Please listen to me Rose. I know you are tired of us saying we are trying to help but we really do care and want you to be happier. I know you miss him and it hurts but there was nothing else you could have done. It's over now and you need to move on. I know you will never forget about him or even stop loving him but that doesn't mean you should let that take over your life."

**Rose's POV**

I knew he was right but I didn't want to admit it. This whole thing was really messing with my head. I wanted to move on but at the same time, I was devastated over losing Dimitri.

"I guess I will leave you alone now." he said.

"Wait!" I said quickly as I ran to him and threw my arms around him crying into his chest. "I'm sorry I've been acting like a bitch. It just hurts so much, but I really do want to move on."

He was still for a moment before he wrapped his arms around me. "I know this is hard for you Rose. I just don't like seeing you so hurt like this. Do you have any idea what would have happened if Lissa and I hadn't found you in time? I would have been devastated and after a while of getting drunk and spirit crazy, I would probably have ended up just the same. I can't live without knowing that you are okay. I love you, even if you can never love me back. I..."

I cut him off by pushing my lips against his in a passionate kiss. He hesitated for only a moment before pulling away.

"Rose..." he was very confused right now. "I thought..."

"You were right Adrian. He is gone. I miss him but there is nothing I can do about it now. It still hurts but I need to move on, and I do care about you. I've always felt something for you, I just couldn't admit it. Even to myself. Now I realize...I love you."

With that, he pulled me into his arms and kissed my lips just as passionately as I had earlier. We kissed for several minutes but I wanted more. I felt bad about what I'd done to him in the cabin and wanted to make it up to him. I pulled away.. "Adrian?"

"Yes...?" he asked nervously.

"It feels weird doing this in a dream. Come to my room. Now." I kissed him again for a moment before reluctantly pulling away "Oh, and Adrian...one more thing..."

"What would that be?" he asked.

"Bring condoms."

**If I get at least 10 reviews on this chapter, I will try to update every day. Already writing chapter 11 but waiting for more reviews. Please share this story with your friends. Getting close to the end and considering a sequel.**


	11. Are you sure about this?

**Adrian's POV**

I knocked on Rose's door and she opened it quickly with a big smile on her face. One I hadn't seen in a long time. Her smile was beautiful, just like her and I always loved seeing it but I was still confused.

"Hey." she smiled brightly as she pulled me inside and gave me a strong kiss. "Did you bring the condoms?"

"Yes. Are you sure about this?" I wanted this just as badly as she seemed to but I didn't want to take advantage of her.

"Of course I'm sure." she smiled as she locked the door and pulled me towards her bed. "I'm sorry if I'm confusing you, but I really do want this. I really want you." She fell back on the bed pulling me on top of her. I wanted her so much and was powerless against her hands reaching inside my pants for my cock. I gave in and started pulling off her shirt. She pulled off mine and pressed her hands against my chest before running them down and tracing my muscles with her fingers.

**Rose's POV**

I ran my hands down his chest tracing his muscles with my fingers. I wanted him so badly and that was quickly trampling over every reasonable thought left in my mind. All I could think about was how much I wanted him. How much I needed him. I reached for his pants and pulled them off of him so fast that I almost tore them. He pulled off mine just as quickly leaving me in my matching black lace bra and thong.

"What are you Rose Hathaway? Are you real? You're a dream within a dream. I'm afraid touching you will make me wake up. You'll disappear." I recognized a little of the poetic trance he sometimes fell into, the spells that made me wonder if he was catching a little of the spirit-induced madness.

"Touch me and find out," I said, drawing him to me.

There was no turning back now. He reached around behind me unhooking my bra and pulling it off with his teeth. I moaned as he leaned over and took my nipple in his mouth while massaging my other breast with the tips of his finger nails. I reached over and pulled down his silk boxers and gasped at how big he was. I hadn't seen it since the night in the cabin. I wanted it in me so bad. I reached for it and gripped it as I pushed my chest against his, kissing him and stroking his large cock. He ran his fingers down my forearm slowly and removed my hand from his cock as he pushed it against my wet hole through my thong pinning my arms to the bed. I moaned in anticipation wanting him in me now.

"Are you sure about this Rose?" he asked as he looked into my eyes for any sign of hesitation. There was none.

I answered by pushing closer. He got off of me so that he could roll on the condom. I sat in the bed waiting for him and watching as he rolled it on. As soon as it was on he pushed me back down onto the bed pinning me again. In this position, even with all my guardian training, I wouldn't be able to get away if I'd wanted to. But I didn't want to. I wanted him. I needed him. He reached down with on hand and easily pulled off my thong, leaving me completely naked beneath him. He pressed himself against my hole not entering as he teased me for a minute, kissing my neck and rubbing himself against my hole. I couldn't take it anymore and pushed his knee with my foot causing him to lose his balance and fall into me. I gasped out at the sudden pain of his large cock ramming into me but moaned as I got used to the feeling and started moving to meet his thrusts. He moved in and out, slowly at first but soon began to pick up speed. I pushed my hips up trying to bring him deeper as I threw my head back groaning with pleasure. I noticed his orgasm come pretty quickly but he kept going, allowing mine to soon follow. I felt the intense pleasure as my orgasm rushed through my body screaming his name as he continued to thrust, every thrust increasing my pleasure. After about a minute, his strength gave out and he collapsed on top of me. We lay there just like that for several minutes before I finally speak up. "I love you so much Adrian." I put my hands against his chest as I push closer to him. He wraps me in his arms, and we fall asleep just like this. I am consumed with pure happiness and love for the first time since Dimitri. I wish this moment would last forever. That is, until I hear a knock at my door and the lock turning.

**I hope you liked this chapter, I know I suck at writing this kind of stuff. Please review and let me know what you think. Not sure how much longer this story is going to go. **


	12. The End

**Rose's POV**

Quickly trying to think of what to do, I push Adrian off of the bed and tell him to hide underneath. He grabs all the clothes that are on the floor and pulls them under the bed with him, tossing me my shirt. I quickly pull my shirt on and lay down in the bed covering myself with the blanket as Lissa walks in.

"Rose? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I said trying to hide the look on my face. I was still excited about what had just happened with Adrian. I could feel her staring at me, so I reached over and pulled the blanket over my head. She reached out, trying to pull it back down, but I just held on, and eventually she gave up.

"Rose, I'm sorry if you are still upset about him and about us making you go to therapy. We were just trying to help and I still think you over reacted, but..."

"It's fine!" I said quickly, a little louder than planned. I didn't mean to be rude, but I really didn't want to talk about what I'd done in therapy. "I just want to be alone right now..." I trailed off.

Lissa sat there for a moment before taking a deep breath and leaving. After a few moments, when we were sure it was okay, Adrian came out from under the bed, pulling his pants on. I reached over to stop him and pull him closer to lay down in the bed with me.

"Rose...what was she talking about?"

"Nothing." I said quickly.

"What happened in therapy?"

"Please Adrian...I don't want to talk about it."

I could see he was about to say something, but then decided not to push the subject. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and lay down in the bed with me. "I love you so much little dhampir."

I smiled and curled up in his arms. I felt him stroking my hair gently and I loved the way it felt. I still missed Dimitri and wished he were here, but I realized he would not be coming back and I cared about Adrian. I always cared about Adrian. It was just like Deirdre had said. With Dimitri, it was just the wanting something I couldn't have. I knew all along, I could never really be with Dimitri, and that just made me want him more. Adrian was a good guy, but I had been so focused on Dimitri, that I had never really been able to see just how right he was for me. I realized now that he really was the one for me. "I love you too." I said as I looked up at his face, and pressed my lips against his in a warm passionate kiss.

**THE END**

**I guess that's it. I really don't know how to keep this going. I hope you enjoyed it and I will try to update my other stories real soon. Please review and let me know what you think.**


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